Late Bloomers

September is my favorite month at the market – everything seems to converge – peaches are still sun-warmed and juicy, tomatoes are at their round and ruby peak, and the marble-size mirabelle plums are making their first appearance – as are the Muscat grapes – so purple they are almost black – hanging in perfectly Dionysian bunches at the market stands.

I found another end of summer treat when Augustin and I made our first BabyBjorn outing to the Saturday market – I was just in time to catch the last zucchini flowers. I discovered these large, bright yellow blossoms the summer of my wedding – like so many sun-soaked things, we must have eaten them for the first time in Italy, stuffed with ricotta; then I came home to Paris and recreated something similar with local ingredients. I stuff my zucchini flowers with fresh goat cheese and a bit of chopped mint, then roll them in a slick of olive oil and bake them in a medium oven. No one would call the flavor of zucchini “intense”, but somehow the flowers retain all the garden-y aroma without releasing the water that often makes zucchini such a bland and troublesome ingredient.

Augustin was three weeks old on Friday, and people seem to be waiting for us to throw him out the window. Why do people take such pleasure in telling you their child horror stories? Before I got pregnant, young mothers came up to me at parties, and seeing I had no toddler on my hip, said sardonically: “Enjoy it while you can.” When I was pregnant, everyone said, “Enjoy yourself – you’ll never sleep or go to the movies again.” Now, when we say the first few weeks are going well, everyone comes back at us with “Enjoy it now, it gets much harder.”

Is this some kind of hazing ritual, like the mythical sorority sisters who circle your cellulite with a permanent marker? Do you have to be miserable to join the cult of parenthood? Non-parent friends seem equally mystified: “Aren’t you supposed to be tired?” Granted, G. goes back to work tomorrow – so I haven’t yet had the experience of going it alone. True, we’ve had fun feathering the nest together. So maybe I’ll be miserable tomorrow. I’ll get back to you.

Frankly, Mommyville thus far hasn’t been quite the ordeal I imagined it might be. As usual, in my overthinking way, the anticipation was more grueling that the reality could ever be. During my pregnancy, I was unsure about many things. Did I have the requisite patience, or selflessness, to be a good parent? How could I possibly love someone I’d never met? Until the moment he was born, there was part of me that was going through the motions – preparing a room for a very honored houseguest – albeit one who was likely to overstay his welcome by a good 18 years. But now that he’s here, it seems the most natural thing in the world. He’s mine. And it feels like he’s been here forever. It’s true what they say about the sour milky smell of his hair and the weight of tiny body, lost in sleep on my shoulder. Something is blooming.

Zucchini Flowers Stuffed with Goat Cheese and Fresh Mint

12 zucchini flowers
3 oz fresh goat cheese
1 egg
Salt and pepper to taste
2 packed teaspoons of chopped fresh mint
Extra virgin olive oil

Preheat oven to 350˚

Lightly beat the egg, crumble in the goat cheese, mash together with a fork. Add salt, pepper and mint.

Stuff the flowers with a small amount of cheese mixture, no need to take out the stamen. Twist to close.

Cover a baking sheet with aluminum foil. Pour a small amount of olive oil onto the sheet and spread it around with your fingers. Roll the stuffed flowers through the oil until lightly coated.

Bake for 12-15 minutes until lightly browned and fragrant.

Serves 2 as an appetizer or part of a light dinner